Role Models: Be Sexy or Be Strong?

role models

First let me just say that Facebook is such a wonderful medium by which to find something to write about.

When I first saw this image a few things happened:

  1. I laughed because I thought it was a joke meme.
  2. I realized it wasn’t a joke and actually took a look at the picture.
  3. I laughed again because this picture is just ridiculous.

This picture was posted by an organization called Mothers Against Violent Sports and for those of you who don’t know what’s going on, the little girl has a picture of Personality Kim Kardashian on her wall and a poster of UFC Bantamweight Champion Rhonda Rousey stuffed into the trash. The caption of the picture is:

“What you violent fiends don’t understand is that these brutish fighters are being looked up to as role models by children. More girls are wanting to be a masculine, monster like Ronda Rousey with man shoulders, instead of working hard to earn a body like Kim Kardashian, who might I say is downright fabulous.

How do you ever expect to find a husband when you can bench press more than they do? And could literally snap at any moment from your anabolic substances and domestically abuse him?”

*side note: not all athletes take anabolic steroids and to me that’s a pretty serious accusation. It could cost someone their career.

So let me break down what exactly is wrong with this meme.

  1. It’s woman bashing.

I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what your cause or organization is, it is never okay to put another woman down.

Calling Rhonda Rousey a “masculine monster” just because she is an athletic woman is despicable and exalting Kim Kardashian just because she has a more feminine body type (which I agree is fantastic) is just as bad.

Both of these women have made their careers doing what they wanted to do and even though those choices and careers are exponentially different it doesn’t make one better or better suited to be a role model than the other.

I think both of these women, depending on your goals or career path, are great role models. (Yes I think Kim Kardashian is a great role model)

2. It’s basically giving the okay to sexualize children and promote negative body image.

Kim Kardashian has a beautiful body and she is gorgeous but that is HER body. So a young girl who sees her on T.V. and wants to be like her and look like her might go to extreme lengths to do so and that could definitely impact her negatively. Especially if that girl has a completely different body type.

If Kim Kardashian is going to be a role model (and she is) it shouldn’t be to have her body and her face. Kim is the best version of herself, the version that makes her happy, that’s what makes her a role model and that’s what girls should imitate. Being happy with themselves and their bodies.

Kim also dresses in a way that is appropriate for a women her age and her career. For a 13 year old girl in middle school, wearing nothing but a trash bag and heels ain’t gonna fly.

3. It’s not okay to be a masculine female.

Okay so I suppose Venus and Serena Williams are just chopped liver then, huh?

Rhonda Rousey is a scary and intimidating woman, and for good reason. But her muscles do not make her less of a woman. She is powerful and beautiful and she commands attention, and as a woman there are worse things that you can be.

There is nothing wrong with being a woman and being masculine or having muscles. I have an aunt who can benchpress more than most of the men in our family and she is gorgeous.

Having muscles like Rhonda Rousey, btw, would make men think twice before following you down a dark alley. I’m just saying.

4. You can’t be strong and sexy

venus

serena

misty

ebony

ashley

rhonda

Yeah. Enough said. (mic drop)

5. You need a husband to be successful.

This is the biggest thing I think is wrong with this picture. Not really the picture as much as the caption, let’s revisit that shall we?

“How do you ever expect to find a husband when you can bench press more than they do?”

Young girls who need role models shouldn’t even be looking for husbands! And even if they are, it should be because they want to not because they need one, to be successful or otherwise.

I know many successful women who don’t have, need or want husbands.

Role models should encourage young girl (or guys, I don’t judge) to do what they love and do their best. And shame on anyone who believes otherwise.

College: Can You Do It All?

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I saw this image this morning and it made me think.

Is it really impossible to be a good student and have a social life, extracurriculars, hobbies and fun time. Does having good grades in college mean that class is the only thing you can have on your agenda?

The answer, my friends, is a resounding no.

I know very few students (and I have gone to community college along with my current university) who just do school and nothing else. Most, if not all, college student have a job along with school just because of how expensive it is.

Then there’s various clubs and organizations to get involved in on campus as well as volunteer opportunities and internships available. I highly doubt that the majority of students go to class then go home and do nothing.

Personally, I find it quite easy to be involved on campus and be a good student. When I tell people what is on my plate and they take a peak at my schedule they ask me if I’m crazy or if I’m tired.

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Most people will tell you the lie that “it’s all about balance.” Um no dear, balance is an illusion. It’s all about time.

Time. Time is extremely elusive, especially to college students who have no idea how to manage it. But it is the key to success, not only in college but in life.

Minutes matter, I read this on a website and have never forgotten it. Minutes really do matter because by the end of the day they add up to hours.

So how does one manage their time in such a way that enables them to go to class, eat healthy, work out regularly, work, get involved in clubs, volunteer, go out with friends and see family on the weekends?

Use the minutes and use them wisely. Don’t procrastinate. Get a planner and use it. When it comes time to get something done sit the hell down and do it.

Now I know the way college kids think (I am one duh), “I try not to procrastinate but it just happens.” It happens because you need discipline.

I am not saying that I don’t procrastinate because I do and I always regret it afterwards. What I am saying is that if you have a planner and you write things down that the discipline will follow but you have to want it.

This website has helped me more than I will ever be able to express in words and some of the words in this post have come from this website because they are ingrained in my mind now.

I’ve tried so many times to get others to read this site and I get a lot of the same responses but they never do.

I’m not pulling these words out of my ass because I feel like it, it’s true. You can do it all (and not end up crying on your couch watching Netflix), if you know how.

Need further convincing?

Right now, I’m:

Taking 15 units

Working

In 4 clubs and on the executive board of 3

Rushing a sorority

I’m a Park Council Director

I’m an anchor for Sundial Radio

and I’m creating a program to help students in sobriety.

All this and I have a 3.0 and I’m not burned out, I’m not tired and I’m enjoying myself.

So yes, it’s possible.

The N-word. What’s Really the Issue?

Nigga its not just for black people anymore

The season 2 premier of Black-ish aired on ABC Wednesday night and with it came an interesting topic, the use of the N-word.

Now, this word has a stigma attached to it that spans decades. And for the longest there has been debate about who the word can and cannot be used by.

I think the whole thing is ridiculous.

My generation has essentially turned the word into a non-issue. Everyone uses it. Black people, white people, Mexicans, everyone feels the need to use it regardless of what company they’re in or who they’re talking to.

I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t use the word but I will say that it isn’t in my immediate vocabulary. Actually, the only time that I do use it is when I get in the presence of someone who uses it all the time. And I kick myself whenever I do.

Which causes me to wonder, is that why everyone decides to use it? One person says it and then it just spreads like wildfire?

I think the word is vulgar and actually really stupid because in my head it doesn’t really mean anything. It’s an adjective, it’s used to describe people but how can a word that doesn’t have an exact meaning describe anything?

Something else that confuses me, is when people try to make distinctions between black people and niggers (niggas, whatever).

People are trying to give this word its own category when in actuality there’s no point. The word has no place in day to day conversation, it’s not a good modifier and it really just makes people seem ignorant.

Now, I will admit that it is fun to say. For a word that means absolutely nothing it is extremely powerful. It’s a lot like the word “fuck”. Fuck doesn’t really have its own meaning but it is really fun to say, especially when you’re angry. It has a way of making whatever you’re saying seem stronger.

So the question still stands, is it right for people to say it? If so, who actually gets to say it?

I think if everyone in the world decides not to say it, it will eventually die out because I think everyone says it just because they’re around people who say it.

There’s an extreme divide in the African-American community that really makes my head hurt. Half of them think it’s a dirty word and it should never be said and half of them think we should take back the word from the white man who oppressed us and say it all the time.

I don’t really care what your reasoning is for using the word. When I hear it, I look at the person who said it like they just said something really stupid. Because it means that they couldn’t think of a different word that actually has a concrete meaning to describe whatever they were talking about.

And if by some stroke of of God they actually could and they decided to use it anyway, well then you have bad judgment and I still think you said something really stupid.